A final goodbye

U were my happiness and u took it away.
What do you expect me to do?

I need time before I can be with someone and not judge them based on all the retarded bullshit you've done in the last two years.
You just want someone to be nice to you,
and tell you how awesome you,
are instead of being a part of something real.
Something we had,
that I've never had with anyone else.
 
U really misunderstand my situation,
and the mess you made out of my life.
April is a loss I can take.
Tia is another.
You... Well I had to make that choice.

But fuck if I'm gonna lose myself.
You don't know how alone I really am,
how hard I try to keep from getting hurt by people like you.
People like Jordan.
And Tonya.

All of you are the same.
Self serving,
unapologetic,
untrustworthy,
disloyal,
selfish,
and you all think you're victims.

All any of you are vicitims of, is your own self destruction.

The world you people live in is unreal. You refuse hard work, and common sense, and create a mess of unnecessary drama, which everyone around you ends up having to clean up.

You all guilt people into believing you're somehow victims in situations you create for yourselves. It's actually pretty ridiculous.
Though it does explain why you care(d) about them so much.
They're just like you.

Hard to reply to that mess, isn't it?
That's what's left of my feelings for you.
The rest, gets pushed away.

All but the anger.
Cuz I still dream about all the ways I want to hurt you.
When that stops,
my life will be for the better.

Just the thought of what you turned my life into makes my throat burn.
It boils my blood.

But damn if I don't look at you,
and all that just disappears.

It's too bad you can barely look me in the eye
knowing that I know the real you.
The beautiful monster you've tried to hide for so long.

You were right knowing I'd disappear once I figured you out.
You shouldn't have made me do it.

You should have thrown yourself out there with a force so big,
it pulled you at your core.
Then you'd know what it felt like every time you lied to me.
Every time you hurt me.

Because as of right now,
all you feel is a little guilt.
But you lack all compassion.
You have for a long time.
We both know you lost it before me but you really tried to make me believe it was there.

That, somehow,
you were still human.
That you hadn't changed.

But you've lost your soul.
What did u sell it for?
What did u give up your life for?

Certainly nothing that you can touch.
Nothing that you can say made it all worth it.

And because of that, I refuse to let you be that thing for me any longer.
You don't deserve my compassion,
much less my pity.

Shit,
you don't deserve this little life lesson of a text message either,
but I'm in a giving mood.

So, take back your shit life,
your stupid decisions,
your inconsiderate attitude,
and all your stupid fucking hollow lies.

Then shove them all up your ass.
That is,
if you think there's any room left in there
with your head taking up so much of the space...