For The Sake of Saving Myself

Woke up today with a sinking feeling. I'm doing all I can not to let it set in.

All I have are a few tiny memories of a love I thought I'd never lose. I've thrown so much of us away, let the memories slip into space, let you take all the hurt and blame, and just had to let myself walk away.

What do I do with what I've got left? Your dogtags lying beside my bed. With thoughts of you spinning around in my head. Missing all the words left unsaid.

It's an unsettling feeling knowing that you're gone. Knowing you won't miss me, at least not for very long. Just wish I knew why you lived this way. If you could make me understand, you could make me stay.

Your imperfections didn't scare me away, you're my beautiful disaster. I still wanted you to stay. But you chased me off with your fear of yourself. You wrote me off because I told you to get help.

And now what's left of the time we spent? A cold empty heart? A big lonely bed?

Will you ever be the man you were? Would you even deserve me if your heart was pure? Reading between the lines that you cross, it's an impossible task, you've left me so lost.

I'm choosing my own path, my own existence. My own destiny, without contradictions.
Should our paths happen to cross again, would you still ask to have my hand?